FATHER'S DAY SERMON: Where Have All the Fathers Gone?

This being Father’s Day I thought I would talk a little bit about fatherhood. However, I have found this to be a daunting task. There is so much that can be said about this topic.

From a practical standpoint?
From a Biblical standpoint?
From a literal point of view?
From a spiritual point of view?
Talk about fatherhood or talk about God the Father?

And being a father myself and having taught parenting seminars, I have my own thoughts of what is up.

So lets simply work through some of these thoughts.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE FATHERS GONE?

Our culture is a sad state of affairs:
1960-2006 single mother homes have gone from 8%-23%
34% children live w/o biological fathers
40% of single mothers live in poverty (only 8.8% with mom & dad)
80% of black children can expect to live part of childhood w/o father

One study reports that $100 Billion of tax payer money is spent because of fatherless homes on things such as child support enforcement, anti-poverty programs, and other programs.

There is a dramatic increase in all of the following because of fatherless children:
Health problems
Crime
Jail time
Teen pregnancy
Abuse
Drugs
Obesity
HS drop-outs

In thinking about this message I went to a couple bookstores to see what kind of books they have for fathers.

Here is what I found: The Know-how Book for Dads, The Man’s Book-The essential Guide for the Modern man, An Accidental Guide to Fatherhood, Father for Life, The Book of Dads, The Little Big Book for Dads, Parent for Dummies, The Ultimate Survivor Guide Man’s Survival Guide, Man Crafts-Leather tooling, Fly tying, Ax Whittling, and other Cool Things to do, 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers, Dad Labs-Guide to Fatherhood, Fatherless In America, Coaching for Fatherhood,

And another

The Greatest Gift I Could Offer-Quotations from Barak Obama on Parenting & Family

Now, you might not agree with the President on political issues but one thing is true, in public, he has set a good example in his marriage and fathering and we should appreciate that.

As I look at the titles for all these books for fathers, my thought is … “Aren’t these topics things a father should have taught his children”?

WHERE HAVE ALL THE FATHERS GONE?

Bill Cosby, America’s favorite TV dad, has a book on Fatherhood, which I used to have in my library and is a pretty good read. He was a good dad on TV because he would sit down and talk with his kids, he spoke with wisdom, he was fun (but also goofy), and he disciplined fairly. He was the dad we all secretly wanted.

A side note: TV sitcoms, besides The Coz, since the 1970s why is it that almost all the fathers on TV are bumbling fools???!!!! Dads that need saved by their wives (and sometimes kids) who have more wisdom than them? How has this benefited out culture? It has not, its terrible for our culture. Why have TV writers done this? The only answer that I can come up with is that it’s Satan. And this is directly related to the promotion of anti-family feminism.

Back to Cosby’s book in the Prologue or Introduction to his book a question is asked, “Many men have wondered: Just what is a father’s role today?”

I believe we have the answer … it has been the same since God created the family.

It’s here in the Scriptures …

1. We have great examples in the Scriptures:

A. Abraham & Isaac – Gen 22.2-14 – it’s a story of a father’s obedience and faithfulness to God.

Genesis 22:2-14 (New American Standard Bible)
2He said, "Take now your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I will tell you."
God makes a point of saying, “Your only son, whom you LOVE”. What does Abraham do? Obeys. A father faithful to God, no mater what the cost…
3So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him and Isaac his son; and he split wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him.
4On the third day Abraham raised his eyes and saw the place from a distance.
5Abraham said to his young men, "Stay here with the donkey, and I and the lad will go over there; and we will worship and return to you."
Note he says, “WE will return to you.” He trusted God to be faithful!
6Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering and laid it on Isaac his son, and he took in his hand the fire and the knife. So the two of them walked on together.
7Isaac spoke to Abraham his father and said, "My father!" And he said, "Here I am, my son." And he said, "Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"
Isaac is starting to catch on … “what is going on here, dad?” However, he obeys his father, does whatever he says… he is faithful to his faithful father.
8Abraham said, "God will provide for Himself the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." So the two of them walked on together.
9Then they came to the place of which God had told him; and Abraham built the altar there and arranged the wood, and bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood.
10Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son.
11But the angel of the LORD called to him from heaven and said, "Abraham, Abraham!" And he said, "Here I am."
12He said, "Do not stretch out your hand against the lad, and do nothing to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me."
13Then Abraham raised his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him a ram caught in the thicket by his horns; and Abraham went and took the ram and offered him up for a burnt offering in the place of his son.
14Abraham called the name of that place The LORD Will Provide, as it is said to this day, "In the mount of the LORD it will be provided."

B. There is also the father in John 4.46-54 – here is a humble faithful father seeking God

John 4:46-54 (New American Standard Bible)
46Therefore He came again to Cana of Galilee where He had made the water wine And there was a royal official whose son was sick at Capernaum.

What kind of man was this? Royal Official! Someone important. Someone with clout. And he humbly seeks out a poor prophet from a small town and places his faith in Him. In fact he walked or rode probably a days travel to get there. From Capernaum he would travel around the sea of Galilee and then through the hill country to Cana. It was probably at least a days travels. He sacrificed a day or two of work to seek out Jesus.

47When he heard that Jesus had come out of Judea into Galilee, he went to Him and was imploring Him to come down and heal his son; for he was at the point of death.
48So Jesus said to him, "Unless you people see signs and wonders, you simply will not believe."
49The royal official said to Him, "Sir, come down before my child dies."
50Jesus said to him, "Go; your son lives." The man believed the word that Jesus spoke to him and started off.

Total faith. He believed Jesus. By leaving he proves his faith, because there would not have been time to go to his son and then back to Jesus to implore for him to come in person … the boy would have died. He trusted Jesus and it happened that very hour!

51As he was now going down, his slaves met him, saying that his son was living.
52So he inquired of them the hour when he began to get better. Then they said to him, "Yesterday at the seventh hour the fever left him."
53So the father knew that it was at that hour in which Jesus said to him, "Your son lives"; and he himself believed and his whole household.

Note: He and his whole household believed. He went home and declared we are now followers of Jesus. We are Christian. He evangelized his family. Taught them about Jesus!

C. We also have the example of Father God in the Scriptures.

As I have stated before I am somewhat of a Social networking Junkie … so I asked my online “friends” the following questions and here are their responses:

FATHER'S Day Sermon - Q: Creator God is called Father, how do you relate to this? Is it helpful to you...knowing you have a perfect Father?

Victor Knowles II at 9:11am June 20
No equivalent for "Father" in the Koran's "99 beautiful names of Allah." Christianity stands alone in that aspect. "Father" found over 100 times in gospel of John alone.

Erik Neilson at 9:41am June 20
Father means that God's providence, benevolence, protection, and even discipline are extended to me. Me? Crazy.

Kevin Bullock at 1:18pm June 20
Who are we that He is mindful of us! That the Creator of this Massively Huge Universe would care to move His Mighty and Loving Hand in my direction - to answer my prayers, or to provide me with blessings is amazing, let alone blessings that I by the merits of my actions I am not deserving of!

And yet he tells me not to call him something that separates His Class from my class in life -- He says, call him "Abba!" (Daddy!) That is intimacy that shows His love for me.

Earthly analogy: Most people call him Mr. President, but his kids still call him Daddy. And he responds to that, whether Demo. or Repub., conservative or liberal. Mr. President will Always respond when his own call him "Daddy."

Della Lee at 3:37pm June 20
I like Kevin's comment.

For me, I know that God is my Father. I am absolutely sure of that. But I don't think of Him as Daddy. That seems presumptuous almost. Daddy is the one you jump on when he's taking a nap or take off his glasses when he's reading the paper. This is probably a lack of spiritual maturity on my part.

2. We Also Have Good Teaching In The Scriptures!

I have been reading in Proverbs and Psalms during June. It has been my habit over the last few years to read the book of Proverbs in June. I mentioned this and challenged my online readers to do the same. Silas Shotwell wrote me telling how he reads both Psalms and Proverbs every month and that he has done this for 25 years! That inspired me to read both Psalm and Proverbs this June, we’ll see after that. It has been a good experience thus far.

The Psalms are songs of thanks and praise to God. Ps 48.13 “That you may tell it to the next generation”. Tell what God has done!

Proverbs are wisdom statements. Some like Prov 1.1-22 are written by Solomon to his son.

1The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel:
2To know wisdom and instruction,
To discern the sayings of understanding,
3To receive instruction in wise behavior,
Righteousness, justice and equity;
4To give prudence to the naive,
To the youth knowledge and discretion,
5A wise man will hear and increase in learning,
And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel,
6To understand a proverb and a figure,
The words of the wise and their riddles.
7The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;
Fools despise wisdom and instruction.

8Hear, my son, your father's instruction
And do not forsake your mother's teaching;
9Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head
And ornaments about your neck.
10My son, if sinners entice you,
Do not consent.
11If they say, "Come with us,
Let us lie in wait for blood,
Let us ambush the innocent without cause;
12Let us swallow them alive like Sheol,
Even whole, as those who go down to the pit;
13We will find all kinds of precious wealth,
We will fill our houses with spoil;
14Throw in your lot with us,
We shall all have one purse,"
15My son, do not walk in the way with them
Keep your feet from their path,
16For their feet run to evil
And they hasten to shed blood.
17Indeed, it is useless to spread the baited net
In the sight of any bird;
18But they lie in wait for their own blood;
They ambush their own lives.
19So are the ways of everyone who gains by violence;
It takes away the life of its possessors.

20Wisdom shouts in the street,
She lifts her voice in the square;
21At the head of the noisy streets she cries out;
At the entrance of the gates in the city she utters her sayings:
22"How long, O naive ones, will you love being simple-minded?
And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing
And fools hate knowledge?

Prov 2.1-3
1My son, if you will receive my words
And treasure my commandments within you,
2Make your ear attentive to wisdom,
Incline your heart to understanding;
3For if you cry for discernment,
Lift your voice for understanding;

These Proverbs are truths fathers are to teach their children.

Look at Prov 1.7 again: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge” What does this mean to you?

Overall we are to continually seek knowledge & wisdom and are to pass them on to our children, grandchildren, and those we mentor or disciple.

Speaking of passing on knowledge and wisdom …

I have been reading a book called From Age-ing to Sage-ing: A Profound New Vision of Growing Older. Written by a Jewish rabbi, presenting a paradigm shift in our thinking of aging. Hear are a few quotes from the introduction and Chapter One:

“People are searching for a new approach to aging. Most of us have grown up with a deep-seated fear and loathing of old age. Our youth-oriented culture, while touting aerobically perfect bodies … focuses obsessively on the physical diminishments associated with old age. In the popular imagination, old age means wrinkled skin and chronic disease, we fear being institutionalized in nursing homes, losing our autonomy, and becoming emotional and financial burdens on our love ones, rather than the wisdom, serenity, balanced judgement, and self-knowledge that represent the fruit of long life experience.”

Called the “conscious aging movement” or “successful aging” or the “third age”.

“This book proposes a new model of late-life development called sage-ing, a process that enables older people to become spiritually radiant, physically vital, and socially responsible “elders of the tribe.””

The author calls this “spiritual eldering.”

“Throughout most of history elders occupied honored roles in society as sages and seers, leaders and judges, guardians of the traditions, and instructors of the young. They were revered as gurus, shamans, wise old men and women who helped guide the social order…”

“Once elders are restored to positions of leadership, the will function as wisdomkeepers, inspiring us to live by higher values …”

“Whether you are a retired person, someone midlife, or a younger person contemplating your future, I salute you all as pioneers in search of a more fulfilling old age. Contrary to conventional thinking, aging is a great success, a result of strength and survivorship. Aging doesn’t mean diminishment or exile from the ranks of the living. As the period in which we harvest the fruits of a lifetime’s labor, it gives us the panoramic vision from which spiritual wisdom flows.

“Like mountain climbers who have scaled a high peak, we have achieved a vantage point in old age from which to observe the path of our ascent and to appreciate the personality that we have created with discipline and devotion. We can survey the struggles for career, marriage, and financial security that occupied much of our time and see why they are all so necessary. Putting the puzzle pieces together, we can glimpse the larger patterns that crown our lives with deeper meaning. To you who stand triumphantly at the summit, I say, “You made it!” And to you who are still climbing the mountain of life’s promises, I say in all sincerity, “keep climbing. You have so much to look forward to in aging.”

There is much work ahead to make this paradigm shift in thinking in our culture, “to restore the honored elder in Western society.” But what we can do is start here, start with our own families, and our own church, changing the way we think about aging and wisdom.
Another sidenote related to gaining wisdom from our elders … I am not sure when it started … 1960s or 1970s … there was this saying “Question Authority!” it was on bumper stickers and probably t-shirts and … This was the worst idea ever for our society! Should it instead have been … “Question Sinful Behavior!” or “Respect Authority & Your Elders and Question Sinful Behavior!” This, “Question Authority!” was especially a bad idea to teach young people … “Question Sinful Behavior!”

Back to the Scriptures…
Psalm 78.1-8

1Listen, O my people, to my instruction;
Incline your ears to the words of my mouth.
2I will open my mouth in a parable;
I will utter dark sayings of old,
3Which we have heard and known,
And our fathers have told us.

We should thank our fathers for all they did teach us.

Some of my FaceBook friends wrote me about their fathers:

Mike McNew at 9:51am June 18
When I think of my dad, I remember him giving me a big thumbs up with a big smile on his face as I got my BBC degree when I graduated.

Michele Lee VanOrsow Stroh at 10:23am June 18
when i think of dad- besides the long talks .. was the unending labor and hard work.... his strong work ethic is where i got it --nothing better than a job well done.... :)

Kelli Wright Couch at 1:11pm June 18
My best friend growing up. Always knew he loved me no matter what. Showed me what kind of guy I should look for in a man to marry. Full of character...and he also was/is one, too : )

Della Lee at 1:14pm June 18
I didn't have a great relationship with my dad (he was alcoholic), but when I think of the kind of dad I wish I had had, it would be someone like Marlin in Finding Nemo. Always loving, never giving up, willing to go all the way to help me, even when I did dumb things and wandered off. That's the kind of dad I wish I had had.

Lynn Crispin McNew at 4:29pm June 18
Quiet, behind the scenes kind of guy, but with a great sense of humor. Always there when I need him. His words are few, so when he has said/written he is proud of me, I get choked up. :)

None of us had perfect fathers, but they did do their best, and we can all think of things they did teach us.

Let’s look forward to what we can do, not back to our failures. There is only one perfect Father! Eph 5.15-17 reminds us to “make the most of your time” you can only do that looking at today and planning for tomorrow.

4We will not conceal them from their children,
But tell to the generation to come the praises of the LORD,
And His strength and His wondrous works that He has done.

Tell of what He has done to the next generation!

5For He established a testimony in Jacob
And appointed a law in Israel,
Which He commanded our fathers
That they should teach them to their children,

It is commanded for fathers to teach their children what God has done!

6That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born,
That they may arise and tell them to their children,
7That they should put their confidence in God
And not forget the works of God,
But keep His commandments,

So they will not forget! So they will keep His commandments!

8And not be like their fathers,
A stubborn and rebellious generation,
A generation that did not prepare its heart
And whose spirit was not faithful to God.

The rest of this chapter goes into recounting what the Tribe of Ephriam should have been teaching their children about what God had done to save Israel from Egypt and in the wilderness … all the miracles He performed to save them. However they did not and God rejected them and found favor with Judah instead.

Fathers … we are to remind and to teach what God has done, lest they forget. The tribe of Ephriam was rejected by God because they forgot to remind and teach and the next generation walked away and chose sinful lifestyles over godly ones.

Talk about what God has done …

Joel 1 -“tell your sons, let your sons tell their sons.” Pass it on even to the second generation.
Ps 48.12-14 -“tell it to the next generation”

As a church, weekly, as we gather we are to tell what God has done. The author of Hebrews reminds us:

Heb 10.24-25
24and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, 25not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.
And not just on Sunday mornings either:

Heb 1.13
13But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Note the author says encourage each other every day, because of sin. Build each other up, tell what God has done, so they will not sin!

What can you share “today” that God is doing, that will encourage others? Think about that … I will start:

1. My work this winter and spring has been very sporatic. Work most weeks, but not enough work. However starting in the next couple weeks through August and possibly September I am overflowing with work. I thank God!
2. Last night (June20) my family and I went to the Cottage Grove Speedway to watch a young friend race. He is only 13 yrs old and races Limited Sprint Cars, for the last 3 weeks he has lead the points standings! Last night he had his first into the wall roll-over crash, right in front of us and his parents. We are thanking God he is alright!
3. Like I said before, the last few years I have made it a habit of reading through the Proverbs in the month of June. I challenged my online “friends” to the same and I was challenged by Silas Shotwell to add Psalms to the reading this month. He related that he has been reading through the Ps & Prov every month for 25 years! Talk about a good and healthy habit! I am thanking God for the blessings of reading the Ps & Prov in June!

What is God doing in your life?

To conclude I am going to read of an event that happened at a church on an Easter morning

It happened on Easter Sunday morning--the one morning when as a “preacher” you want everything to go "just right." Praise filled the large sanctuary, the preacher welcomed with delight the many guests, and began his "made-for-Easter" Resurrection sermon.

Now you must understand that we have an incredible preacher who can handle anything with grace--sound system breakdowns, service emergencies, whatever--he's just good! And so--when a mom had to quickly exit with a very disturbed little boy yelling "Daddee--Daddee" all the way down the long aisle to the exit, he stopped the sermon, enjoyed the moment with everyone, worked it into his sermon theme, and went on to a wonderful conclusion. Many people came to Christ that Easter. Sunday night we learned the "rest of the story."

What brought one specific man to Christ at the end of that Sunday morning’s message? The preacher related to us, "This is amazing -- it was NOT my sermon that DID it!" When the chuckles died down, he explained, "In the service was a man who never knew his dad, was put into an orphanage at the age of five, and all his life just "winged" it on his own, determined to get through life the best he could. He told the preacher, "When that little boy was removed from the service in the middle of your sermon, his cry, "Daddee...Daddee!" all the way down the aisle rang in my ears. God spoke to me, "I want to become the Father to you that you never knew!" The unplanned interruption of a little child was what brought a man to Christ! A new name is now written down in in the family's rosters--by a Father who welcomed a forgotten son home--to a real home where he is loved, accepted and will never be forgotten again!

Do YOU need to hear the warm words of YOUR Father today? Whatever's happening, get that troubled heart still enough and you will! He loves you. He wants you to feel His special love flowing into your life today too. Just call "Abba, Father!" - "Daddee!" - and HE'LL be there! Believe it!